CONSPIRACY July 19, 2008

darkest of all, endless, infiltrative and malignant
tells you your deepest secrets, all
without mercy, bloodless and crazy
leaving no trace, not even the thinnest lace
setting everything ablazed

she calls you, and you go near
there you starts to disappear
seducted by fear, nothing was clear
nothing, nothing could you hear

you just stoned there
nothing move, not even a hair
this is not fair, not at all
there is a pair, a pair?
everything, she did it with perfect flair!

twin. who is this one?
am i for real? my mind goes blunt
and you wish you could run
but everything is done.
and when you started to know
it is not fun, not at all

who am i in this world?
looking into the eyes
the mirror- the conspiracy terror

A LETTER TO THE FAR July 19, 2008

no more day ahead without you
what a waste of memory when i found out the truth
you that told me something that was nothing new
all of a sudden you threw mee into the blue

finding it hard to see it through
everything was so terribly screwed
this was all i got when i found something cruel
another minute learned that dream didn’t come true

i looked into the mirror and i didn’t recognize myself
what i’d turned into a beastly self
i cried a river and wrote a thousand words
what they’d turned into every word hurts

silent memory grows
patiently pulls your soul
there’s nothing else to show
what’s left of mee is a hole

i found a story that no one else could write
i wrote it down to and then i flight
hero of the story turned out to be a fool
and the way he ran away, not so cool

distance past put into rest
and i thanked all the cast
memory did not turn into ash
it become real and fresh

LIFE ON THE TABLE July 19, 2008

cactus outside the window
signifying my deepest sorrow
first to put it on my table
but my heart failed to handle

water it not everyday
as it doesn’t need it anyway
a hardy plant from the desert
and it is not everyone’s dessert

rare that you could see them flower
at the desert maybe but i am bothered
and they grow thorns
and that just make my heart torned

sitting on my chair looking outside the window
recalling all my deepest sorrow

you can water them
but my heart may not florish
you can caress them
but they may cut my hand

it loses its torn one a day
never would i realize
pierced into my heart one a day
never would i realize
pain absorbed unknowingly

ADDICTED TO YOU July 19, 2008

i need to stop
i need to stop myself
by involving you in my life
i need to stop
talking to you, maybe for a while
to stay a way
to detox
to stay away, clean

whatever it takes
addiction to you
is hard to forget
intriguing sensation
driving mee crazy
solely by just thinking of you

i made a mistake
for the first time
i touched you
i’ll never ever let you down
and i need to let go of you

who am i now?
with this addiction
of remembering you
of  mourning myself

every beginning begins with each ending July 19, 2008

i stroll alone on this barren land
making friends with hollow men
silent chats, playing chess
vapourizes life into air
you’ll never guess
why i’m so mad
with the life i had
i could kill all cats
all the stupid cats

looking at those skulls
they have easy lives
nothing much to strive
shadows that are light
lucency just right
they are easy
they are easy
with the life
no more plight

who is there to judge my life

lonely lonely life
my lonely pathetic life
my heart pumping air
how i’m so despair
nothing running inside
future not in sight

the sun is getting bigger
shadow getting longer
i can’t see my future
it’s blindingly bright

my shadow kissing my past
i will never last
this point, i lay my final  touch