New Room April 27, 2009
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To walk in the crowd. Stranger talking aloud. Sky above, gathering clouds. The mind I have, full of doubts.
Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer again…365days lazy mind. Lazy to face the days. I adapted well. Slowly. I can. With my shadow arriving so much earlier than I do. I have expected this. Why didn’t believe but I choosed to endure the pain.
I tried and walked slumberlly. Ignorant. Dead walking. Soul’s sealed. Heart peeled. Autopsy done. I’m OK.
Found this new room. Realizing that I am here all this while. You just showed me the light. Told me I’m here. When you told me you have fallen in love. To our friend. I think I like how this would end. I’ll not be saying more. Afraid that I will make some silly mistake and a fool of myself again, in front of you.
I love you. You know I do. Now. Still. But, it is not the same anymore. Either one of us, maybe both, have taken a parallel path, walking along, never crossing path again. I think I like this. Same room different people. Same brain, different mind. I am the latter.
Same skull, same room, same brain; different light, different mind.
I like this new room. It has a different light.
looking back April 27, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, poem, poetry, song, story.Tags: bow, horn, life, love, poem, poetry, seasons
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flipping back my songbook
i found some songs
wish to sing it with a different tunes
rock and roll or RnB with soul
starting with a blue tune
under the october moon
you have cried all the summer
don’t want to see the tracks of ice in the winter
winter wind it blows
all the autumn sadness flow
singing in the snow
singing for the coming show
break the ice and carve a heart
wait it splices and breaks apart
to want me and throw a dart
wishing to stay and wait for luck
talked too long
wrote too long
finding faults along
finding that i’m wrong
winter wind it blows
freezing sadness hugs the cold
come the spring show
sadness in the river, it flows
summer day horn blows
autumn leaves in a row
see it now
in this show
in front of you
i bow
Doubts April 26, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, philosophy, poem, poetry.Tags: blind, cry, doubts, head, judgement, kind, lies, love, poems, poetry, sigh, sight
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i think i really know you
but i don’t think so
it is merely a matter of bad judgement
and bad call
that’s all
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i said goodbye
you think you know me well
and it makes you swell
i’m just the piece of blue sky above you tiny well
this is not the land you could dwell
oh~
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i ran and hide
one year has been too long
i should know i’m this strong
to let you go
and let you know
be free, i should set me free
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i didn’t deny
that’re not the one for me
i shouldn’t be down one knee
but i held you tight
and locked my right
set out a for sight
but earned a sigh
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i cry cry cry
twelve moons has circled the earth
tracking ended love
forgetting your curves
i should put one my gloves
and perform this love autopsy
to see how much heart you have for me
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i
how i know that know
and clear the clouds
for the sun to shine
and makes me blind
for the love so kind
for i will find
doubts clouding my head
doubts hiding my cool head
doubts shielding away the blue sky
how i stop telling lie
can’t April 23, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, poem, poetry.add a comment
summer wind melts the winter snow
to the lake the water flows
i look at my own reflection
tracks of tears trembling emotions
like the interference of different waves
crescendoing into the vast blue ocean
i love you i need you
i want you i love you
but i can’t
i can’t let you know
afraid of letting my feelings show
because you said no
i take the chance following my memory
losing track of the timely symphony
of you and i
looking into each other’s eyes
grabbing tight, don’t want to let the time flies
but lies kindled fires
your courage, i admire
then you said no
i love you i need you
i want you i love you
but i can’t let you know
as i’ve told you so
i’ve burried it in the last winter snow
summer wind melts the winter snow
i am finding a new land to plow
April 20, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, poem, poetry.Tags: answer, broken, life, love, poem, poetry, why
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when can we let go?
when can i cry?
when can i start not to deny
there is this mee
playing
around this not-knowing
holding back
the tears
that i don’t know
the answer
why…
~
let mee continue my life
let mee look in front and
not seeing you in every face
maybe that night
i will cry
and learn what sadness means
33 degreee celsius April 20, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, poem, poetry, song.Tags: broom, entity, heavy, melody, memory, peom, poetry, room
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i am stranded in my room
i got myself a broom
singing as if it is a microphone
sweeping my room
i’m cleaning my memory
singing this melody
what is this entity
feeling so heavy
sweats running down
i am sweeping in circle
sweats dropping down
i’m drowned
33 degree celsius
i’m sweeping my memory
Chapter 19 April 18, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, philosophy, story.Tags: love story, memory, Novel
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Chapter 19 will talk about Chapter 21, which is now.
What is memory? Things that we remember and things that happened to us, history. The only difference is, when we are recalling memory, it triggers the limbic system in the human body, it creates emotions.
Why this book is called semifiction?
Because there are things that we remember, but there are also things that we don’t want to. Because there are things that happened according to plan, and there are things that did not. Because we are sons of inspiritions and dreams. Because we live on imaginations. Because we don’t understand how our mind works. So, how far could you believe your memory. When is it trying to decieve you? Protect you?
You will never know how much you remember is true.
Never.
This is also a love story. A story I remember. How much of it is true? But it happened to me.
Every now and then, we wonder about the decisions we made, the feelings we felt. How we would like to think if otherwise. What if…
What if…
眼眶泪/ tears April 10, 2009
Posted by meehoon in life, love, philosophy, poem, poetry.Tags: chinese poem, regret, tears, windows of eyes
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何时已经把你当成眼眶泪
害怕流泪
何时已经爱你无法挽回
害怕流泪
何时已经开始忘记伤悲
忧己已累
框角集泪滴循鼻梁几回
望其眼泪见其景寻后悔
一滴一幕忧心难归
眼眶泪
不再归
离伤悲
想回味
唤不回
已驶累
不想追
逝去美
~
i think you are the tears in the windows of my eyes
i think you are the fear that my love desires
i think you are the all the reasons why
i afraid to cry
each pearl of tears
each scene of dear
each drop of tears
a cut of fear
of regret
is it the tears’ hard to drop
of is it the fear that it drops
disappointment April 6, 2009
Posted by meehoon in Therapy, life, love, philosophy, poem, poetry, song.Tags: craps, disappointment, life, love, poem, poetry, recalling, writing
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trying to play it cool, trying not to recall
trying from a different stand, trying almost everything
to avoid talking to you, i still need you
knowing mee, at times
especially time when i’m down
so please let mee finish this, let mee write the words out
for you guys to laugh out loud, come please form a crowd
holding mee up and throw mee high
let mee feel it and forget the whys
oh~ oh~ why~
telling you all but you don’t get it
telling you now you will forget it
telling you why you will reject it
telling you all~all~
so please tell mee everything you want mee to know
before i get too old
before i get the scold
before i get too high
don’t let mee fall down hard
especially when i am down
i don’t know what i am writing now
there is no how
there is no why~
messy craps of mine
forgetting all the rhymes…
oh~ disappointment rule it all
