宁静的深夜
苦茶伴着写
枯萎的思念
哀悼这久恋
纠不为妥协

不裂   不灭   不歇   不戒

悠幽的眷恋
涩酒随着流
残骸寥无求
瞑墓这爱秋
缠觅着终气

不异   不弃   不离   不迷

i look outside the window
i see my shadows
of the past
eager to last

flakes of the winter tears
bring me silence throughout the years
twisting the angle of my lips
pressure of your kiss of yesteryears

talk to me tenderly
for i talk too cryptically
too hard to decipher even to myself
not to say anybody else

what am i trying to prove?
what else do i have to lose?

standing under the sun
looking at how my shadows run
but never away from me
why it was me i was trying to flee

you hate it when i can read you mind
when i have the things you can’t find
complications undefined
confrontation redefined

you hate it when i am still in your life
like i’m chasing your shadow with a knife
jazzing around making you frown
laughing around i feel like a clown

i know i know
you can’t change synapses of the brain
like you change the course of life
you can’t change your name
like you want to change your life

i’m in your life

i would stop one day
when i draw my last breath
it would still be the same
if i have the strength
to make the last stealth

you stop to communicate
you stop to talk
you stop looking at me
you stop being yourself

around me

someday,
i’ll pretend that i’m drunk
telling you how i feel
right now

spelling out word by word
freeing them like all those little birds
from the infinity of my heart

thwart little bastard
squat you little idiot
hands on the air
spell out- despair

bottle up the wine
i feel fine

who am i

i don’t care

i laugh and i laugh

i chuckle

and i smirk at my life

who am i

this man that can’t cry

明为知
知为之
之知也

闷之闲
闲之悠
悠之忧
忧之言
言之悲
悲之伤
伤之敷
敷之略
略之情
情之泛
泛之法
法之道
道之夕
夕之阳
阳之落
落之叶
叶之飞
飞之遥
遥之霄
霄之远
远之清
清之零
零之闷

古意明新心智烦也
清了及晕情体操也
料及身悲

who tells the story of others
with validation and quoted citation
of lives living in the world of civilization
geometrical mentality without functional imagination
bland, tasteless and copious
who’s who what what
entangling lies forwarded with truths beneath
you have your own eyes to believe
free your mind from mindless diseases
to create a path of rented story
until
one day

shielding stories whiting lyings
patches of truth with clouds
waiting for the visually impaired
and the mentally despaired to shout it out loud!
that’s the new truth!
when it is being echoed deafly

do you have a clear mind?
what’s wrong or right?
would you know, if i don’t want you to know?
and i hide it from you?

is it fair?
this is life…

never endingly alive!

dear,

” when i am in love,
all i want to do is just to hold your hand,
to look into your eyes and hug you by my side,
to kiss you goodnight,
and look at you when you are asleep in the morning,
feeling envious that i am not able to share your dream tonight,
and laugh back at myself as i always wake up later than you
when i am in love,
all i want to do is just to have you by my side,
lying in the bed doing nothing,
cuddling all day and night.”

but i can”t sleep.

you never know me.
i wonder why, why i was given a chance to try.
i wonder why, why i persisted even when i was being denied.
then you lied.
then i lied.

i always know you.
you never forget, you never
stop comparing, and wanted to feel it back.
you felt sorry and wondered if it was correct.
that’s why you sometimes felt it high and sometimes flat
when you’re with me, you wished you never had.

when you said it, i had predicted it.
you said you would cry, and i wondered why.
but i just said goodbye.

and now i cry.

it is incomplete.
because there is the why.

regards

i’m gonna to bribe you with my love

stay a little while, longer
stay so we could chill together
my bad
my excuses

baby baby look at me
ain’t i’m the man you’re looking for
look at me, i’ll be your fantasy
look at me baby, darling
let our love be free

cuz i’m gonna bribe you with my love

hold my hands
as tight as you can
lock you lips around mine
as tight as you can
oh~ i have the world
oh~ i have you as the world
i’m the king of the world

stay with me
i am bribing you with my love

slowly moving against the hissing of falling
before surrendering it graces on its feeling
knowing it shouldn’t be minding fouling
falling graces without trace

disintegrating  heart’s mechanical beating
impulses cease generating who’s blaming
overwhelmingly is its feeling  it is bailing
beating whose lousy truce

i am stranger on the loose
edge of life, i am on the brink of catching
myself

every heartbeat
crafting a son of love
living inside
your heaven and earth
—(life inside a mother’s womb)

threads of life wovened within
bathing love in between
first heart beat tickling
decrescendo in beating

hopes. dreams. shattered

silence

…

tears. life. lost

lost. love. found

found. serenity. peace

my love for the unborn child
cherishing the eternal of temperance
that you have given me

i walked around, almost fall down and drown
there’s your frown, i looked like a clown

hi there sunny
you look bright and you shine
hi there honey
how i wish you’re mine